When was the last time that you felt grateful...and I mean truly grateful? 

Being a highly spiritual person, I believed I was grateful until recently when an event occurred in my life that made me question what I was truly grateful for.

Being ‘grateful’ is quite fashionable at the moment and there are so very many articles, books, courses and websites that are exclusively dedicated to the art of gratitude. We are told to write in our gratitude journal first thing each morning, to exclaim out loud for what we are grateful for and then to do the same at bedtime whilst maintaining an air of gratitude throughout the day.

A while ago, I actually completed a gratitude course online with thousands of others throughout the world. We were told that each morning and evening, we were to list a certain amount of things that we had been grateful for and to begin with we were given examples. So, like many others, I was grateful for my cup of coffee, my kettle, my bed, my fresh sheets, my car, my purse, running hot water…. 

Recently, however, my focus shifted and although I still remain grateful for all of these things and more, I became eternally and fully grateful for life itself and for the natural world around me.

A routine mammogram had shown something suspicious so I was referred for more tests to a specialist breast unit. After more advanced mammograms and an ultrasound, the consultant decided to take some biopsies to be sent away to the laboratory to be tested for cancer and I was given a date for two weeks later to discuss the results and any further treatment.

These two weeks forced me to think very deeply about what I had achieved and what I may not achieve. I thought of times I had acted not in my own or others’ best interests and how I may not be able to make up for this, of people and animals who had entered my life and taught me valuable lessons, of ancestors that have gone before me, of my children and of their children who I may never meet, of so much time I have wasted, of not looking after myself as well as I should, of not being focussed on what really matters...my list goes on. 

The night before my results, I prayed hard as I have never prayed before and I solemnly promised to God, Universe, Source, Higher Power that if I was given another chance then I would change my life and become who I was meant to have been all along if I hadn't been distracted by unnecessary trivialities. 

The following day, in the afternoon I was informed I did not have cancer but instead, I had a fibroadenoma or breast mouse. For every five women who have a breast biopsy, one will have cancerous cells but for some reason, that woman was not me and I felt blessed. My thoughts and prayers went out to the women that day who were receiving worrying news as it could easily have been me.

For the first time in my entire life, I have identified with what being grateful feels like and my attitude, priorities and outlook have drastically changed.

So, yes, I will continue to be grateful for my morning coffee, my comfortable bed and my reliable car but I am deeply grateful on a whole new level for the life itself that has been gifted to me and that I will never again take for granted.