There was a time in my life when I never thought I would be happy again. After two years of being love bombed, devalued and the discarded in the most inhumane way, I was totally trauma bonded which is a psychological and neurological attachment to the person who has broken you. In fact the more hurt you are, the more likely you are to become severely trauma bonded.

I needed to find myself again if I was ever to recover so that is what I set out to do. It wasn't easy because at the time all I wanted was him. He had conditioned me into believing that without him, I was absolutely nothing and not worth even being alive. Now, this is laughable and let me tell you why and how I have healed and become so very content with my life. In fact, I am embarrassed to have wasted my time with someone who was an evil monster in disguise.

I spent a lot of time alone , deep in thought and often in nature away from others and as I searched for answers, it became crystal clear that the answer was simple. None of it was my fault. My sin was being pure, kind, gentle, genuine ~ an empath. They take our energy and turn it into a sadistic fuel to destroy and harm.

I concentrated fully on myself and showed love, understanding  and compassion. I forgave myself for ever having fallen under his unpleasant spell. I became more confident and as I did, I noticed my eyes sparkled, my hair grew long, my skin took on a radiant glow  and I felt younger and more energised than ever before.

My relationship with my family, which he had almost destroyed through jealousy, became stronger. He was insanely jealous of each and every one of them because they exacerbated his own failings and weaknesses because they were all successful, caring and talented.

My job ~ which he ridiculed at the time, I decided to leave. I felt the need to walk away from so much of what I perceived as familiar but unfulfilling. I now have my dream job and I am earning more than he ever was. 

Everything I ever wanted for myself, I have manifested and I am more content than I have ever been in my entire life. I still find myself  excitedly making future plans and becoming inspired about adventures that haven't happened yet.

A narcissist attempts to steal and destroy your soul but he only has power over you  if you allow it. When I look in the mirror, I love what I see and also what I can not see. If I saw his face again, I would feel disgusted at how I once thought I loved him. He was never handsome yet he was for a while because he tricked me into telling him he was. In reality he is vile with a dark and bitter energy.

Yes, I danced with the devil but I out-danced him ~  now I happily dance with myself.